| Bye, Manila. |
[April 2nd, 2009|2:00 pm] |
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I'm gonna experience some other atmosphere for several days. Haha.
Beach, please please please. Beaaaaaaaach. Haha.
Bye.
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| BYE PHONE. |
[March 23rd, 2009|9:26 am] |
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Take 2. Haha.
Malas nga naman, o.
At least this time, I know I didn't just leave it behind or something. It was inside my bag. INSIDE, man. Napakagaling naman na pickpocket nun.
Anyway, there. Bye, phone. Bye world, for a while. Haha.
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| PRESSURE. |
[March 1st, 2009|1:19 pm] |
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May facebook na ko. HAHAHA YUN LANG.
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| Kahit HB ako ng bonggang bongga. (break sandali) |
[February 26th, 2009|12:21 pm] |
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Life's perspective from a 'down-to-earth' view.
Adrian Tan is a litigation lawyer at one of Singapore's leading law firms. Outside the courtroom, he is known for a variety of funny things, including The Teenage Textbook, which he wrote in the late 1980s. The book became a cult classic among students of that generation and was adapted into a film 10 years later.
Adrian was the guest-of-honour at an NTU convocation ceremony last week, and this is Adrian's speech to the graduating class of 2008
Life and How to Survive It
I must say thank you to the faculty and staff of the Wee Kim Wee School of Communication and Information for inviting me to give your convocation address. It's a wonderful honour and a privilege for me to speak here for ten minutes without fear of contradiction, defamation or retaliation. I say this as a Singaporean and more so as a husband.
My wife is a wonderful person and perfect in every way except one. She is the editor of a magazine. She corrects people for a living. She has honed her expert skills over a quarter of a century, mostly by practising at home during conversations between her and me.
On the other hand, I am a litigator. Essentially, I spend my day telling people how wrong they are. I make my living being disagreeable.
Nevertheless, there is perfect harmony in our matrimonial home. That is because when an editor and a litigator have an argument, the one who triumphs is always the wife.
And so I want to start by giving one piece of advice to the men: when you've already won her heart, you don't need to win every argument.
Marriage is considered one milestone of life. Some of you may already be married. Some of you may never be married. Some of you will be married. Some of you will enjoy the experience so much, you will be married many, many times. Good for you.
The next big milestone in your life is today: your graduation. The end of education. You're done learning.
You've probably been told the big lie that 'Learning is a lifelong process' and that therefore you will continue studying and taking masters' degrees and doctorates and professorships and so on. You know the sort of people who tell you that? Teachers. Don't you think there is some measure of conflict of interest? They are in the business of learning, after all. Where would they be without you? They need you to be repeat customers.
The good news is that they're wrong.
The bad news is that you don't need further education because your entire life is over. It is gone. That may come as a shock to some of you. You're in your teens or early twenties. People may tell you that you will live to be 70, 80, 90 years old. That is your life expectancy.
I love that term: life expectancy. We all understand the term to mean the average life span of a group of people. But I'm here to talk about a bigger idea, which is what you expect from your life.
You may be very happy to know that Singapore is currently ranked as the country with the third highest life expectancy. We are behind Andorra and Japan, and tied with San Marino. It seems quite clear why people in those countries, and ours, live so long. We share one thing in common: our football teams are all hopeless. There's very little danger of any of our citizens having their pulses raised by watching us play in the World Cup. Spectators are more likely to be lulled into a gentle and restful nap.
Singaporeans have a life expectancy of 81.8 years. Singapore men live to an average of 79.21 years, while Singapore women live more than five years longer, probably to take into account the additional time they need to spend in the bathroom.
So here you are, in your twenties, thinking that you'll have another 40 years to go. Four decades in which to live long and prosper.
Bad news. Read the papers. There are people dropping dead when they're 50, 40, 30 years old. Or quite possibly just after finishing their convocation. They would be very disappointed that they didn't meet their life expectancy.
I'm here to tell you this. Forget about your life expectancy.
After all, it's calculated based on an average. And you never, ever want to expect being average.
Revisit those expectations. You might be looking forward to working, falling in love, marrying, raising a family. You are told that, as graduates, you should expect to find a job paying so much, where your hours are so much, where your responsibilities are so much.
That is what is expected of you. And if you live up to it, it will be an awful waste.
If you expect that, you will be limiting yourself. You will be living your life according to boundaries set by average people. I have nothing against average people. But no one should aspire to be them. And you don't need years of education by the best minds in Singapore to prepare you to be average.
What you should prepare for is mess. Life's a mess. You are not entitled to expect anything from it. Life is not fair. Everything does not balance out in the end. Life happens, and you have no control over it. Good and bad things happen to you day by day, hour by hour, moment by moment. Your degree is a poor armour against fate.
Don't expect anything. Erase all life expectancies. Just live. Your life is over as of today. At this point in time, you have grown as tall as you will ever be, you are physically the fittest you will ever be in your entire life and you are probably looking the best that you will ever look. This is as good as it gets. It is all downhill from here. Or up. No one knows.
What does this mean for you? It is good that your life is over.
Since your life is over, you are free. Let me tell you the many wonderful things that you can do when you are free.
The most important is this: do not work.
Work is anything that you are compelled to do. By its very nature, it is undesirable.
Work kills. The Japanese have a term 'Karoshi', which means death from overwork. That's the most dramatic form of how work can kill. But it can also kill you in more subtle ways. If you work, then day by day, bit by bit, your soul is chipped away, disintegrating until there's nothing left. A rock has been ground into sand and dust.
There's a common misconception that work is necessary. You will meet people working at miserable jobs. They tell you they are 'making a living'. No, they're not. They're dying, frittering away their fast-extinguishing lives doing things which are, at best, meaningless and, at worst, harmful.
People will tell you that work ennobles you, that work lends you a certain dignity. Work makes you free. The slogan 'Arbeit macht frei' was placed at the entrances to a number of Nazi concentration camps. Utter nonsense.
Do not waste the vast majority of your life doing something you hate so that you can spend the small remainder sliver of your life in modest comfort. You may never reach that end anyway.
Resist the temptation to get a job. Instead, play. Find something you enjoy doing. Do it. Over and over again. You will become good at it for two reasons: you like it, and you do it often. Soon, that will have value in itself.
I like arguing, and I love language. So, I became a litigator. I enjoy it and I would do it for free. If I didn't do that, I would've been in some other type of work that still involved writing fiction – probably a sports journalist.
So what should you do? You will find your own niche. I don't imagine you will need to look very hard. By this time in your life, you will have a very good idea of what you will want to do. In fact, I'll go further and say the ideal situation would be that you will not be able to stop yourself pursuing your passions. By this time you should know what your obsessions are. If you enjoy showing off your knowledge and feeling superior, you might become a teacher.
Find that pursuit that will energise you, consume you, become an obsession. Each day, you must rise with a restless enthusiasm. If you don't, you are working.
Most of you will end up in activities which involve communication. To those of you I have a second message: be wary of the truth. I'm not asking you to speak it, or write it, for there are times when it is dangerous or impossible to do those things. The truth has a great capacity to offend and injure, and you will find that the closer you are to someone, the more care you must take to disguise or even conceal the truth. Often, there is great virtue in being evasive, or equivocating. There is also great skill. Any child can blurt out the truth, without thought to the consequences. It takes great maturity to appreciate the value of silence.
In order to be wary of the truth, you must first know it. That requires great frankness to yourself. Never fool the person in the mirror.
I have told you that your life is over, that you should not work, and that you should avoid telling the truth. I now say this to you: be hated.
It's not as easy as it sounds. Do you know anyone who hates you? Yet every great figure who has contributed to the human race has been hated, not just by one person, but often by a great many. That hatred is so strong it has caused those great figures to be shunned, abused, murdered and in one famous instance, nailed to a cross.
One does not have to be evil to be hated. In fact, it's often the case that one is hated precisely because one is trying to do right by one's own convictions. It is far too easy to be liked, one merely has to be accommodating and hold no strong convictions. Then one will gravitate towards the centre and settle into the average. That cannot be your role. There are a great many bad people in the world, and if you are not offending them, you must be bad yourself. Popularity is a sure sign that you are doing something wrong.
The other side of the coin is this: fall in love.
I didn't say 'be loved'. That requires too much compromise. If one changes one's looks, personality and values, one can be loved by anyone.
Rather, I exhort you to love another human being. It may seem odd for me to tell you this. You may expect it to happen naturally, without deliberation. That is false. Modern society is anti-love. We've taken a microscope to everyone to bring out their flaws and shortcomings. It far easier to find a reason not to love someone, than otherwise. Rejection requires only one reason. Love requires complete acceptance. It is hard work – the only kind of work that I find palatable.
Loving someone has great benefits. There is admiration, learning, attraction and something which, for the want of a better word, we call happiness. In loving someone, we become inspired to better ourselves in every way. We learn the truth, the worthlessness of material things. We celebrate being human. Loving is good for the soul.
Loving someone is therefore very important, and it is also important to choose the right person. Despite popular culture, love doesn't happen by chance, at first sight, across a crowded dance floor. It grows slowly, sinking roots first before branching and blossoming. It is not a silly weed, but a mighty tree that weathers every storm.
You will find, that when you have someone to love, that the face is less important than the brain, and the body is less important than the heart.
You will also find that it is no great tragedy if your love is not reciprocated. You are not doing it to be loved back. Its value is to inspire you.
Finally, you will find that there is no half-measure when it comes to loving someone. You either don't, or you do with every cell in your body, completely and utterly, without reservation or apology. It consumes you, and you are reborn, all the better for it.
Don't work. Avoid telling the truth. Be hated. Love someone.
You're going to have a busy life. Thank goodness there's no life expectancy.
***
Buwisit. Hindi naman sa nakukulangan pa ko sa computer dito sa bahay, pero parang ganun na nga. Out of 4 (or 5?) computers. Ngayong gabi, hindi ako makagamit, ni isa. Hindi ko magawa yung kailangan gawin kasi (1)may gumagamit nung pc na kailangan ko, and (2)masyadong low tech yung isa pang pc na pwede sana.
Buwisit. Buwisit talaga. I need my own computer. Hindi ako madamot. Ang dami ko lang kailangan gawin sa computer na kung may ka-share ako, uubusin ko lang space sa HD at magkakaasaran lang kami sa pag aagawan.
Saka..
Wala. Gusto ko maging masamang tao lately. Sungitan lahat ng nakakaasar, sagutin ng bastos lahat ng mga taong foul, sabihan ng 'too frank' words mga taong dense, isalpak sa mga mukha ng tao ang katotohanan, ibaon yung mga in denial.
But I don't. In my head nalang. Haha.
Must rise above this.
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| No, I am not pissed at all. |
[February 8th, 2009|12:28 pm] |
Yesterday was a crazy day. Wait. 1am na pala. Haha.
Rephrase. February 7 was a crazy day.
Things to do that day:
-9am class
-game vs CHE
-EEE 11 early exam(4:30)
-SHS Band-Aid, production band kami
What happened that day:
-We slept over kila Nicco the night before, to practice.
-Rushed to my 9am class. Almost too late.
-I was supposed to take the early exam. Kaso biglang 4:30 pala start ng Band-Aid
-So I panicked. Decided not to take the early exam, and risk being late for it.
-So right after the game and reviewing for the exam, rushed to SHS na.
-When I got there, tugtog agad. Opening number, with the competitors.
-Natapos yung set mga 5:15. Punta kami ni Airon agad sa UP.
-Took the 6pm exam. Left at 7pm. Dapat up to 8 yun. Haha.
-We went to Maong's sandali, to buy isaw for bandmates.
-SHS na ulit by 7:45. So far, so good, diba? But noo..
-Closing number dapat kami. Pero change of plan. After daw nung last competitor, kami na ulit.
-Last competitor Atom. Galing nila Don. Naswan. Panalo din sila. Didn't doubt they'd win at all. :)
-Anyway, after nila, akyat agad kami ng stage. Minamadali pa. Nang biglang..
-Pangalan ng isang sikat na banda ang inaannounce. Wala man lang pasabi. Nagsesetup na kaya kami. Siyempre, unplug naman kami agad to give way.
-Turns out, 'kulang sa time', so cinancel nila yung Finale number nung competitors.
-So there. Umalis na kami after. Went to Sarah's. Uwi.
I don't mind not playing. I don't care if walang tugtog ng matagal. I mean hello, ang dami kong ginagawa, minsan todo effort talaga pag may tugtog. Pero nabuwisit talaga ako. Kasi..
1. Hindi naman kami competitor. Wala kaming mapapala sa pag house band sa Band-Aid, pero..
2. Pinag handa nila kami ng tutugtugin. Sila pa pumili.
3. Inayos namin lahat. Lahat. Areglo, division para sa vocalists nung competitors, etc.
4. Andun kami start to finish. START to FINISH. Sana umalis na kami after nung first set.
5. Sayang yung binalik ko sa SHS. Sana di ko na minadali yung exam. Sana di na naghintay si Airon kasi wala naman pala kaming babalikan. Sana di na kami umalis sa Maong's. Haha. Sa Sarah's din pala bagsak namin after.
6. Band scene politics. *coughcough*
Haha. Yun lang. Bye.
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| Reflection paper. Not. Hahahaha. |
[February 1st, 2009|12:37 am] |
Humans are creatures of habit. This is perhaps one of the things that help us survive. We develop habits, make them second nature, so that our mind can focus on other things rather than constantly having to take our habits into consideration.
Habits are brought about by necessity or convenience. We learn to type fast, barely looking at the keyboard, because we want to focus on what we're typing rather than how to type. We practice our sports skills so that when game time comes, we focus more on playing the game well rather than how to play it.
Some habits though, are formed by things that aren't constant. Like the student who wakes up at 9am sharp to be on time for a 10am class. Come next semester, his mornings become an unpleasant hurry, as he struggles to wake up at 6am for his 7am class. Or the parent whose kid just moved out and went to college. There's suddenly a big part of his child's life that he doesn't have watch over, and it bothers him that he doesn't hold as authoritative a role as he used to.
Some habits, we force ourselves consciously to develop. Like the undergraduate painstakingly abstaining from computer games and going out in order to do scholastically well. Or the boyfriend who is slowly learning how to reassure a doubting girlfriend. (The bf-gf scenario isn't something I like. Haha. I'd like to think things are a little more effortless than having to remind/reassure each other. But you get the point.)
Habits are formed by circumstance, and conscious choices. But these circumstances and choices are bound to change. You know the clichè, change is the only constant. And sometimes our habits have to change with them. Try stubbornly sticking to a 4am bedtime, see how you do with a 7am class.
But since we ARE creatures of habit, its obviously hard to break them.
Sometimes we need to, though. Because habits make our lives automated. Sometimes we can't tell if a person does something out of sincerity or out of habit. Sometimes we can't tell if WE are doing things out of sincerity or habit.
Hell, sometimes we're not even aware of our habits. It's hard to own up to them at times, to accept that we do have these habits. Like being too easily drawn to things, like running away from uncomfortable situations, like refusing to listen, like being unable to resist temptation.
We act out of habit more than half the time. That's not to say it's a bad thing, but maybe from time to time, we should give our habits a rest. Just for a short time. To let our brains do things consciously, decide for things consciously, contemplate things consciously. Pure unblemished thought. Now, that's rare.
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